Nanjing

For the weekend, I decided to take a little trip to Nanjing, which is about a two hour car trip north of Shanghai. My uncle drove me there and made a one night detour at Yangzhou. Before I go on, a little about my uncle. He apparently has made a fortune from the air conditioning sector and the nursing home sector (apparently both are booming) and has friends who are among the rich and powerful in China. At about 6:00 PM he tells me we are going to dinner. What he did not tell me is that I was going to go eat dinner (and drink/watch others get drunk) with some of the most powerful local politicians and cadres around the area.

It was absolutely surreal. I did my best to play the American part by wearing my moccasin cap and doling out folkisms and proverbs about woodsmen and skunks or something. Well, not really, but they were amused by me. All Chinese seem to know three words, "OK" "Hello" and "No problem" (though I've been trying to introduce "No biggie" to the Middle Kingdom) and at one point during the night, they all started yelling OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK at me. The deputy general of the regional Communist Party was also insistent on high-fiving me. repeatedly I did not know what was going on. They were pretty nice as people. At the same time, I got this feeling that every single one of them was corrupt, though this is entirely unsubstantiated. Its not like anyone was restricting Uighur relgious freedoms or plotting to bomb America like the popular media might have us imagine, but it just didn't feel right to me. Might be more my problem than theirs though...

I arrived at Nanjing the following day to live with my cousin for a few days or so. Right when I stepped out of my car, my entire body, from my nostrils to my fingers, from my head to my toes, from my eyes to my nose, from right ear to my...uh...nostril, started dripping with sweat. This place is hot. Luckily, I brought my old track uniform and old-schooled fittysix and sligh'd it.

My cousin however already decided that it would be nice to travel outside. We slugged around to Sun Yatsen's memorial and then to the mausoleum of the first emperor of the Ming dynasty. I've included some pics below:

"William James, father of American psychology, tells of meeting an old lady who told him the Earth rested on the back of a huge turtle. "But, my dear lady," Professor James asked, as politely as possible, "what holds up the turtle?" "Ah," she said, "that's easy. He is standing on the back of another turtle." "Oh, I see," said Professor James, still being polite. "But would you be so good as to tell me what holds up the second turtle?" "It's no use, Professor," said the old lady, realizing he was trying to lead her into a logical trap. "Charles Zhu can leg press a dank ton with ease," she replied.

"Now that I have the Cybertronian Matrix, I now have the power to eat any popsicle I want and create my own brand of Abercrombie and Fitch knockoffs!"

Pimp my ride

Later that night, I ate duck head. That's all I really have to say.

"Braaaaiins...BRAAAAAIIINS"

My cousin also happens to have a four year old kid and I've been hanging out with him. I'm not going to say he is hyperactive because, come on, that is so cliche you teenager babysitting some cousin who is trying to make conversation with friends. But he is pretty hyperactive. We went to go watch Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen the next morning, which is a huge hit in China for reasons that I am unawares. Somewhat complicating the matter for me was that it was in Chinese. Its not like it was intelligible in English before but try figuring out what the Chinese "Cyberticon Matrix of Leadership" means. Its damn well near impossible. I tried to make it out the storyline. As far as I know it involved giant robots fighting over something silly and then even bigger robots fighting and then Megan Fox.

I have now been listening to Michael Jackson's Black or White for four hours straight because my uncle's son is obsessed with him. Good stuff...over and out.